Bittersweet Homecoming
by starryskyangel1
Summary: Relationships: ending, beginning, and starting over.
1. Rendezvous with Company

**_Bittersweet Homecoming_**

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Disclaimer: The OC is not of my possessions. 

A/N: Hey everyone, I just got off from terrific feedback on my now finished other story. This is might be a bit confusing at first, but I want the details to be a bit blurry to keep you guessing! This takes place in the future and I'm trying not to make this AU, but sometimes I guess, I'm going to make slight corrections to the plot or elaborate to further my story. Well, please review and tell me your opinions.

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_Rendezvous with company _

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"Seth!" A brunette yelled, at the top of her lungs, "Let's go!" She shifted uncomfortably in her stiletto Prada boots. For the price of 1200 dollars, you would think that the shoes would have some level of comfort, but they were boots after all. The brunette sighed. The wonders you would do for the sake of fashion. She really wanted to sit down, but she feared she would ruin her silk black geisha robe. She tapped her foot impatiently. Finally, unable to stand it, she yelled again, "Seth, where the hell are you? We have to meet Anna in about 10 minutes."

She heard an exasperated sigh and clomping footsteps down their curving staircase. Seth came down, quite awkwardly, holding a sleeping baby in a carrier. He stepped off the last stair and approached the brunette. "Jeez, Samantha, are you trying to wake the baby?" Seth asked, irritated, cocking his head to the sleeping child.

Samantha rolled her eyes and sighed pulling Seth by his dress jacket. It was black and Seth wore another black shirt under it. "You look great." She complimented.

Seth smiled, "You too." He gave her a peck on the cheek. They headed out to the door to their shiny silver BMW SUV, loaded the baby seat, then drove off to The LightHouse.

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Anna stood up to greet the arriving couple. "You guys are late." She commented before embracing Samantha. "Sammie, you look fabulous. Sample-sale?"

They both broke into laughter at Anna's joke.

Seth had finished settling in the baby when he stood up to give Anna an upper-class hello--a peck in the area of each cheek.

Finally, Anna went on to her last victim, the innocent child. "Why hello, Savannah Zoe Cohen." She cooed. She sweetly raffled the girl's curly brown hair, even though only eight months, was a fair mass. In return, Savannah whimpered and wailed a piercing cry.

Anna, seemed a bit taken back by the reaction. A little shocked, she helplessly glanced at Seth. Seth immediately quieted her down and Anna sat back in the blue booth, across from Samantha. The table was silent. "So, bestest friend, what's up in your life?"

Samantha sighed. "Not much. And I'm tired." She glanced mean fully towards the baby.

Anna nodded, sympathetic.

Seth didn't miss any of this. "My daughter is a baby, what would you expect from an eight month?"

Samantha stuttered, "Um, I don't know."

'How about, I want to get married to you so I slave over this baby?' Anna thought to herself over what Samantha was thinking.

Seth's face waited for an answer.

Luckily, Jimmy stopped by. "Hey kiddos! Long time no see. . ." He saw the tiny baby waving her fists happily in the air as she saw Jimmy. "Wow, you've grown!" He exclaimed while picking the baby up.

Samantha rolled her eyes. "You saw Sav last week."

Jimmy pouted. Hailey was pregnant and was due in three months. And Jimmy couldn't be more impatient. "So I can't wait for my own."

Seth pointed out his error, "You already have two kids."

Jimmy, "Yea, but they had their mother's genes. Seriously, Caitlin asked for a pony every few months after she ditched one after another." Jimmy was really weirded out by how Caitlin turned out to be so much like her mother. He looked at his watch. "Got to go. Later." He carefully placed Savannah back in the carrier and walked away, waving back.

There was no point in the three of them waving back since Jimmy's head was focused towards the door, the other direction.

The food hadn't arrived, and Anna had to go to the bathroom. "Sammie, le W.C.?" She motioned towards the restrooms at the back of the restaurant.

"Oui, je vien." Sammie sighed. Anna always needed her when she went the bathroom. And she suspected that it had nothing to actually do with bladder urges, just private Anna, Sam talk.

* * *

Seth was left alone. He fiddled with the dark blue linen table cloth. Today was Summer's birthday. He missed her a lot. Mournfully, he looked at Sav. Sav looked so much like her mother.

Seth remembered the last birthday he had spent with Summer. It was her 17th birthday and they had a small gathering. Ryan, Marissa, Summer, and him had all settled in on the _Summer Breeze _and sailed around, eating dinner, watching the sunset, and just laughing and joking. He had given her a promise ring. Seth spent all of his savings on it. It had a tiny platinum band with a two-caret ruby. Inside he engraved their initials, SC and SR.

Seth looked down at his own hand. On his finger, he had a similar band, but it was slightly thicker. Summer had given it to him on Father's Day in return for her own ring. He rubbed it, knowing that inside, Summer and Cohen was engraved. He smiled thinking that if you didn't see closely, you couldn't see the line between their two names and it just looked like Summer Cohen. Seth smiled at the thought of having Summer as his wife. But his thoughts quickly drifted when he realized that she was out there in an unknown location.

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Anna leaned against the granite wall in the bathroom while watching Samantha carefully putting on pink lipgloss.

Samantha touched up on her minimal makeup. She had an all-natural look, and finished putting a bit of brown mascara on. She impatiently jammed the brush back in to the small bottle. Then she whipped around. "I'm so tired of taking care of the baby." She snapped.

Anna gaped. "Why? She's a total sweetheart and she's probably the cutest baby I've ever seen."

"But, she doesn't look like me." Samantha bitterly said.

"Well, maybe because she isn't your baby." Anna retorted. She wondered how she could deal with Samantha's bitchy- I-want-everything- attitude.

Samantha practiced in the mirror giving her fake-smile. But, frustrated, she turned one of them into a frown. "Look, I love Sav, but seriously, it's so hard taking care of a baby that isn't yours. She's so perfect and charming, but she isn't my kid. I really want something like that, but Sav is one of those perfect babies that are just so rare these days. I love Seth, just I hope he's going to propose some day. I've been with him through this whole ordeal."

Anna felt a twinge of jealousy. She still loved Seth, and being around him so much just confirmed it. But, Sam was her best friend. The most loyal. Sam was so mature. Only 18, she had the maturity of a 25 year old. And Seth was like that too, having a baby made him grow up. Sam and Seth, Seth and Sam, it was just too perfect. They were the perfect couple. But, Anna always had a surge of happiness when it came to Savannah. Sam wasn't her mother.

"He'll come around." Anna finally answered.

Sam humphed and turned back to the mirror.

Anna smiled knowingly that Seth wasn't going to do that anytime soon.

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Summer packed her Louis Vuitton suitcase. The year at NYU was done and she was heading home. She snapped her suitcase shut. Summer Roberts was heading back to Newport, back to Seth Cohen.

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A/N: Review. Any thoughts, comments, and/or ideas would be appreciated!


	2. Losing Grip

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Bittersweet Homecoming

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A/N: Hey you guys. Thank you for the wonderful feedback. I really appreciate all the rooms. It makes me feel all pink and fuzzy inside. LOL.

HOTTERTHNU- I put in lines, just for you. Happy? JK. I know I thought it was pretty confusing too. . . I had these marks, but I guess they don't work. Oh well. . .

Littleputz114- Sorry about the Author's Note, I know, I get excited about things like that too! Sorry. . .

Newportbabe44- Don't worry there will be Ryan and Marissa in this. What is a fan fiction story with out the brooding bad boy and troubled alcoholic? If you didn't get a chance to read my author's note before I replaced it with this, they are 18, so I don't want them to make them married. . .

Okay, I'm making all of this on the top of my head. I didn't really think about this chapter, I was too busy trying to get it out to you guys. LOL.

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_Losing Grip_

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Seth lay across Ryan's head, totally exhausted. Ryan had just finished doing laundry and was putting his clothes back into his small, white bureau. It was tucked in the corner of his very tiny Berkeley campus apartment.

After he put the last folded shirt in a drawer, he plopped on his bed next to Seth causing Seth's body to rise and fall off the bed. He landed rather crudely on the carpeted floor.

"Jesus!" Seth muttered rubbing his unruly hair. "What the hell?"

Ryan sheepishly grinned. He sat up and patted the spot beside of him, inviting Seth to come up and sit next to him.

Seth awkwardly got up and sat down on the bed. They sat in silence for a short period of time because Seth could never shut up.

"This is just like old times." Seth mused. He looked around the small, immaculately kept room. "You know you can come back, home."

Ryan turned and looked at him. "Well, then why aren't you at home? School's out for the year, you should be home chilling out with that Samantha girl."

Seth turned and laughed lightly. "If you were in my position, I don't think you would want to go home to a screaming baby. She does have half of her genes from Summer you know. . ." Seth abruptly stopped at his mention of Summer.

Ryan had a worried mixed with sympathy expression on his face. "Still haven't heard from her?"

Seth shook his head.

Ryan sighed. "You know she's fine. Marissa's taking care of her."

_Fuck. _Ryan thought. He always had such a tight mouth in Chino. He guessed years of pampering forced some of his old ways off.

Seth's eyes widened with shock. He stood off, causing the mattress springs to slightly squeak. "You kept that from me for that long?!?" Seth angrily shouted.

Ryan stood up quickly in suit too. "Summer obviously doesn't want you in her life."

Seth glared at his remark.

Ryan continued. "I don't know where she is. Marissa does."

Seth, pissed, settled into the desk chair. "Marissa told me she was going to Europe." Seth angrily said to himself as he tore a paper in frustration.

Ryan went to stop him and grabbed the paper out of Seth's hands. "Hey! That was an important letter."

Seth looked apologetic. "Anyways, Maris told me she was going to Spain with her freaky mom. I mean what's up with Julie Cooper's vibrant fire-red hair?"

Ryan shrugged his shoulders. "Wait you talk to Marissa? I barely ever talk to her with Marissa being at Stanford."

This time, Seth shrugged his shoulders. "I talk to her on the phone every night."

Ryan shot him a somewhat jealous look.

"You dumped her, you know." Seth told him as he munched on an apple he picked up from a basket that was on Ryan's computer desk.

Marissa and Ryan had broken up right before they left to go to college. Ryan said he couldn't take the long distance relation-ship. Even though the two colleges were in the same distance, they were just as far as Newport and Chino. With school, Ryan didn't think he could take on the stress of having a girlfriend that far away.

"We _mutually _broke up." Ryan clarified.

"That's not what she told me." Seth replied.

"Whose side are you on anyways?" Ryan demanded.

Seth threw his hands up in defense. "Hey, chill out. I'm just saying that maybe you should give another try with Marissa."

Ryan eyed him suspiciously. "Did she tell you to say that and try to convince me?"

Seth put his hand over his heart. "No, _of course _not." He said a bit over dramatically. "But, I think you should too." Seth seriously said.

"Well, I'll give it to you, I'll call her." Ryan said, caving in. "But what about that Samantha girl. I mean she's been taking care of a kid that's not hers."

Seth nodded. "I'll see."

* * *

Seth walked along the dock. The water was murky black. The sky was black, starless. He had remembered the times he spent with Summer. He passed the dock that held the _Summer Breeze. _Instead, he wandered off further. At 3 AM, the whole dock was deserted. Today was their designated anniversary. They didn't have an actual one with the Anna, Summer, Seth love triangle, so they just decided it to be this day. He walked really far along the beach, reaching a small cove. Seth chuckled as he entered. Nobody ever knew about it and it had been awhile since he had been in there. It was decorated with Summer and Seth's favorite things, photos, pictures, letters, documents. . .

He laughed as he saw pictures that Summer and him had made funny faces in. There were so many and Seth sat on the floor and leafed through them. His heart ached for her. Seth felt a tear come to his eye and quickly wiped it away. But the torrent of tears kept coming and Seth didn't even bother to wipe them away. One of his tears landed on a photo of Seth and Summer on his boat.

That was the last night he had been on his boat.

Ryan couldn't understand how Seth could stay away from the _Summer Breeze. _To Seth, it was simple. It was too painful. But he was at the cave for a reason, even though it hurt like hell, he already sort of proposed to Samantha. He was trying to get over Summer. Deep inside him, he knew it would be impossible. He loved Samantha, but not as much, and it would never be as much as his love for Summer. Seth's tears still stung his eyes as he walked around the little cove, observing and taking in the memories from all the mementos. Seth had considered Ryan's comments yesterday afternoon. He analyzed what Ryan had said _Summer__ obviously doesn't want you in her life. _He had gone back to his house and seen how Samantha had been taking care of Savannah. It wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to Savannah.

So he left a diamond ring on his pillow, beside Samantha, after she was asleep. Then he had walked out. Seth knew it would be a one-sided marriage. Where there was only love from one side. But he needed to get over his high school sweetheart. Seth knew he was weak, a coward, but he couldn't control it.

He continued until he reached Savannah's baby quilt. Summer had sewn it while she was pregnant. And Seth's sorrow turned into pure anger. He threw a vase at the wall, started tearing papers, photos, anything up.

"Fuck you, Summer! Fuck you!" Seth screamed.

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Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby  
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real  
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you  
Why'd you turn away?  
Here's what I have to say I was left to cry there,  
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare  
That's when I decided

Why should I care  
'Cause you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone  
You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,  
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone

Am I just some chick you place beside you to take somebody's place  
when you turn around can you recognize my face you used to love me,  
you used to hug me  
But that wasn't the case  
Everything wasn't ok I was left to cry there  
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare  
That's when I decided

Crying out loud

I'm crying out loud  
Crying out loud

I'm crying out loud  
Open your eyes  
Open up wide  
Why should I care  
Cuz you weren't there  
when I was scared I was so alone Why should I care  
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone  
Why should I care  
If you don't care then I don't care were not going anywhere  
Why should I care cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone  
Why should I care If you don't care then I don't care were not going anywhere

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Ryan hesitantly dialed the numbers.

"Hello?"

Ryan took a deep breath. "Hey Marissa."

"Ryan?"

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A/N: Yay! I'm done, REVIEW WITH YOUR COMMENTS!!!


	3. The Beautiful Letdown

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**_Bittersweet Homecoming_**

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A/N: Thank you for all the feedback. Not much to say right now, except to please review.

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_The Beautiful Letdown_

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Seth walked wearily back to his Newport mansion. He trudged up the front door marble stairs. It was well over 10:30 in the morning and the sun shined brightly in his eyes. He quickly blinked and turned his gaze back to the French door. Seth dug his hands deep into his baggy cargo pants fishing for keys. Feeling the metal press against his finger, he took them out of his pocket and inserted them into the keyhole.

Seth dropped his hand, the key was still stuck into the keyhole. Running his hands through his hair, he met a tangled mess of knots. Seth knew he looked like shit, his hair was probably a mess, his eyes with deep purple bags lining the bottom, puffy eyes, and ruffled clothes. He didn't want to deal with the fact that he was going to marry Samantha. But, that didn't mean he couldn't avoid it for awhile.

Quickly, Seth turned the lock, leaving the key in the keyhole. Running up the stairs, he ran down the long hallway, reaching the baby pink door. A sign hung with the name Savannah engraved on it. Not stopping to read the inscription his parents had put in it, Seth pushed the door open. Savannah was lying in her crib, sleeping peacefully. Samantha must have fed her. Seth rummaged around the table for necessary things—formula cans, bottles, pacifier, Sav's favorite blanket—all which he stuffed in an enormous duffel bag that had been in the nursery. He then gently picked Sav up and put her in a baby carrier. Seth then froze.

"Louisa, I'm taking a shower. Tell Seth to come up when he comes home." Samantha's voice drifted throughout the house.

Seth could imagine the Spanish housekeeper nodding her head in her bashful way. Louisa was always somewhat scared of Samantha. Samantha was a bit intimidating, beautiful, with a stone cold bitch look to her, she could put anyone off.

Seth held his breath as he heard Samantha walk up the stairs and walk into the bathroom. The door slammed shut and he could hear the water running loudly. The bathroom was in the master bedroom, so Seth ran towards the bedroom with another large duffel bag. He opened the closets and all the drawers of the bureau. He desperately tried to find all the clothes he needed. He threw out everything all over the room, pulling things out onto the floor. Quickly, he grabbed his underwear, socks, shirts, pants, different shoes, formal clothes, ties, anything he could possibly get his hands on. He also grabbed a few things from the vanity, brushes, combs, gel, and his cologne. His bag quite heavy, he rushed out of the bedroom, picked Sav up from the nursery and with his one remaining hand, picked Savannah's favorite stroller up. Struggling, Seth slowly labored down the stairs. A wide-eyed Louisa stared at him, mouth agape. Seth didn't slow down though. He loaded the bag into his black Range Rover. Seth was about to open the door when he noticed Louisa who had followed him outside to the driveway.

"Louisa. . ." Seth started as he went to the passenger side and strapped Savannah securely in.

Running back to the driver's side, Seth climbed in and started the car. He rolled down his window and leaned out.

"Louisa, don't tell Senorita Samantha where I am or the baby, okay?" Seth said, while scribbling down the address of Marissa's house.

Louisa nodded.

Seth waved his goodbye and rolled up the window.

Samantha had just come out of the bathroom to see the Range Rover screech down the driveway.

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Ryan was at the Cohen's house. It was summer break and he was at home with his adoptive parents. It was seven o'clock and Sandy, Kirsten, and him were sitting around eating dinner at the dining table.

Unfortunately, Kirsten had cooked it.

So Ryan was poking his rubbery steak with his fork. Ryan wanted to see if the steak bounced, really badly, but he was afraid that it would hurt Kirsten's feelings. He snuck a glance at Sandy who was trying to cut his steak, but had only gotten the knife stuck in the meat. Ryan had been shooting glances at Kirsten, hoping that subtly, she would get the hint. This time, he wasn't so lucky and Kirsten was looking out the window. Ryan sighed and turned back to his own plate where he stared at the burnt asparagus.

Sandy was struggling with his steak. He had gotten his knife stuck in his filet mignon and it had no intention of coming out. A 100 dollar steak knife wasn't supposed to get stuck in a steak!!! A steak that was _supposedly_ rare. Sandy really wished Ryan would actually say something to his wife, but that kid was always too damn polite. Sandy supposed he could make the best of the food, even though he knew Kirsten had put 110 percent into it.

"Hey Ryan, could you pass me the salt?" Sandy asked, ignoring Kirsten's death glare.

"Sure." Ryan reached over towards the salt shaker. After handing the salt to Sandy, his arm brushed his china dinner plate, knocking it to the floor.

A loud shattering noise ensued. The contents on the plate flew up, and the steak dropped to the floor. The steak bounced back up with amazing height, landing on the kitchen counter behind Ryan. It bounced a bit more before finally landing in the kitchen sink.

Sandy and Ryan gave her a look that was mixed between fear and I-told-you-so.

Kirsten heaved a big sigh. "Fine, I'll order takeout." She got up and headed towards the phone.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Ryan told Sandy. He half jogged, half ran to the door. Another ring rang throughout the house.

"Jeez, I'm coming." Ryan muttered before opening the door. "Hel-."

Summer was in standing in front of the door, tapping her foot impatiently.

"O." Ryan finished lamely.

"Chino." Summer started. "Where's Seth?" She demanded.

Ryan gawked at her. 'How could a girl leave and then ask for the guy whose heart she broke?'

Summer sniffed the air. "Did Kirsten attempt to cook again?"

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Seth grabbed some popcorn and returned to his gaze on the plasma TV's screen. He was only wearing pajama pants and no shirt, lounging on the same couch with Marissa. They both were watching _American Beauty. _

"I'm going to get us some more beer." Marissa told Seth, who was transfixed by the screen. She untangled herself from under Seth's legs and got up from the couch. She smoothed her satin tank top and her boy shorts underwear. Marissa didn't care that Seth saw her in her underwear, they had a history together and there was no awkwardness between them even though they were wearing minimal clothing. "Seth!"

Seth tore his gaze from Kevin Spacey. "What?" He asked exasperatedly.

"Pause it." Marissa demanded. "_Pleeasssse_." She mock begged.

Seth reached for the remote. "Yea, fine. But hurry your ass up."

Marissa humphed and purposefully walked as slow as she possibly could.

In about five minutes, Marissa returned with 4 Coronas, only to find Seth had already started to play the DVD. "Seth." Marissa whined.

Seth faced her, "I started it when I heard you coming. Its only like 5 seconds from where we paused."

Marissa looked at the screen and found that Seth was telling the truth. She plopped down on the floor and sat under Seth's head, her back leaning on the front of the couch. He almost immediately started to play with her hair.

"You know this makes me feel so feminine." Seth remarked after Marissa and him both cried after the ending.

"Just look at your daughter and remember that your sperm created her." Marissa told him.

"I still feel all girly inside."

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Ryan felt like he was a prisoner being forced to give out top-secret information. Summer had dragged him to Seth's house.

"Summer, I don't think this is such a good idea." Ryan started while making a right turn in his Range Rover.

"Why would that be, Chino?" Summer asked as she turned from the window to face him.

"It's sort of sudden. I mean it hasn't hit me that you're here. Yet."

"I don't know why I left. I'm stupid I guess. And shallow. And just like my mother." Summer said.

Ryan remained silent.

A solitary tear dripped slowly down Summer's cheek.

"I still love him." Summer whispered.

Ryan suddenly put the car in park. "Summer! You left Seth! You were the one who got up and left after you gave birth to Savannah. Summer, you just left the hospital without a goodbye. You broke his heart."

"You don't know half of it." Summer whispered, seemly to the window.

Ryan sighed and started to drive again.

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"Here we are." Ryan said.

Summer looked out her window, only to be met with a large house on the water. "Wow."

Summer clambered out of the car. Ryan was already ringing the doorbell. Summer ran to catch up with him. The door opened and a brown haired girl came out.

"Ryan!" Samantha squealed.

Ryan endured the huge hug. "Sammie, this is Summer."

Sammie glanced at Summer and smiled before turning back to Ryan. "Ryan! Guess what?"

"What?" Ryan asked, monotone. He wasn't used to seeing Sammie this happy. Usually she was moody and sophisticated. Never valley-girl like this.

"Seth proposed!"

Summer's eyes narrowed. Ryan was speechless.

Samantha forced her hand in front of Ryan's face. On her finger sat a huge diamond rock on a gold band.

"Wow." Ryan breathed.

Summer felt a rage blackout coming on. Ryan noticed Summer's face getting redder. He tried to avoid confrontation.

"Summer, let's go." Ryan sternly told her. "I'm sorry. I didn't know." He whispered in her ear as she passed by.

Summer brushed him off and instead headed towards Samantha. "Where the hell is my baby?"

Ryan slapped himself in the head. Summer didn't want to see Seth, she wanted Savannah. "Summer!" He reproached.

"Oh, you're the baby abandoner." Samantha remarked.

"Well aren't you the rebound whore?" Summer countered.

Ryan stepped between both of them.

"Chino, move." Summer said between clenched teeth.

Just then, Ryan's cell phone rang.

"Hello?" Ryan asked as he flipped the phone open.

_"Ryan, it's Seth." _

"Hey, Seth! Where are you?"

Ryan ignored the fact that both girls were suddenly intent on his conversation.

_"I'm at Marissa's house." _

"You're at Marissa's house?" Ryan asked disbelievingly. This wasn't fair, Marissa and him had just reconciled.

Summer's eyes narrowed again. She grabbed the cell phone. "Cohen!!!"

_"Summer?__ What the hell?" _

Summer was about to say something when she heard Marissa's voice.

_"Seth! Want to take a shower with me?" _

_"Marissa, give me back my boxers!" _

_"Not unless you come here." _

Summer had heard enough. She threw the cell phone back at Ryan. Ryan caught it soundly. "Summer, what the he-?"

"Ryan, we're going to Marissa's house."

Summer ran into the passenger side and slammed the door. Ryan could only jump to conclusions, and he hopped in the driver's seat.

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Ryan and Summer were halfway to Marissa's house. She couldn't believe what was happening. Tears cursed her face. Seth was with her best friend. That was ugly betrayal, and she had gone across the nation for him and Savannah while he had who-knows-how-many relationships going on.

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It was a beautiful letdown  
When I crashed and burned  
When I found myself alone  
Unknown and hurt  
It was a beautiful letdown  
The day I knew  
That all the riches this world had to offer me  
Would never do  
  
In a world full of bitter pain  
And bitter doubts  
I was trying so hard to fit in  
Fit in, until I found out  
  
I don't belong here (I don't belong)  
I don't belong here (I don't belong)  
I will carry a cross and a song  
Where I don't belong  
I don't belong  
  
It was a beautiful letdown  
When You found me here  
Yeah, for once in a rare blue moon  
I see everything clear  
I'll be a beautiful letdown  
That's what I'll forever be  
And though it may cost my soul  
I'll sing for free  
  
We're still chasing our tails  
In the rising sun  
In our dark water planet still spinning  
In a direction no one wins  
No one's won.  
  
See, I don't belong here (I don't belong)  
Well, I don't belong here, I don't belong  
I will carry a cross  
With a song where I don't belong  
I don't belong  
I don't belong here (I don't belong)  
No, I don't belong here, I don't belong  
I'm gonna set side  
And set sail  
For the kingdom come, kingdom come  
Your kingdom come  
Won't you let me down, yeah  
Let my foolish pride forever let me down  
  
Ah, Easy living, you're not much like the name  
Easy dying, you look just about the same  
Would you please take me off your list  
Easy living please c'mon and let me down  
  
We are a beautiful letdown  
Painfully uncool  
The church of the dropouts  
The losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools   
What a beautiful letdown  
Are we salt in the wound  
Hey, let us sing one true tune  
  
I don't belong here (I don't belong)  
It feels like I don't belong here, yeah  
It goes like I don't belong here  
I don't belong (I don't belong)  
Won't you let me down (I don't belong)  
C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)  
You always let me down (I don't belong)  
So glad that I'm let down (I don't belong)  
C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)  
'Cause I don't belong here  
Won't you let me down!

The Beautiful Letdown – Switchfoot

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A/N: Chapter number 3! Please review! If you don't review, I won't give you another chapter! Then you won't be able to learn all about Seth and Marissa's "history". Much love!

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	4. Breaking the Habit

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**_Bittersweet Homecoming_**

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A/N: I hope I left some suspense for you from the last chapter. Thank you for the amazing feedback!

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_Breaking the Habit_

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Seth flipped the phone shut. "She hung up on me." He muttered.

Marissa walked over to Seth with a questioning look. "Who was that?"

"Summer." Seth mumbled.

Marissa's eyes widened. She stared at Seth who looked like he was trying to ward off some tears. Marissa pulled Seth into a comforting hug and they both sank in the couch. "I'm so sorry." She whispered in his hair.

Seth just waved her off in response. "It's just so out of the blue. I'm trying to get over her I really am."

Seth raised his head to look up into Marissa's eyes. "I proposed to Samantha."

"Seth, that's not the way to do it. You don't have to do that, you know. . ."

Seth shook his head. "I wanted to." Seth stood up defiantly. "I can't stand this anymore, maybe it's just time to get over her."

Marissa nodded, encouragingly. "So, a shower isn't out of the question?"

Seth smiled. "Maris, you always say shower, it's _bathe._"

She smiled and chuckled good-naturedly. "Whatever. You know what I mean, let's go _bathe _in the hot tub."

Seth nodded.

"No bubbles, _please_." Seth begged as he followed Marissa outside. "They tickle."

* * *

The ride to Marissa's house had been pretty silent. Ryan wasn't to talk much anyways. Just because he never talked much didn't mean he didn't think much. Ryan had always thought his torrent of thoughts made up for his lack of speech. The whole ride, he had been figuring out what had triggered Summer to have a panic attack and force her to suddenly see Marissa. He could only guess that it had something to do with Marissa which as much as he tried to deny it, he thought there was a possibility of Seth and Marissa having a torrent love affair behind his back. Granted, Marissa and him had a nasty breakup senior year, and Ryan still couldn't trust her. He was aching to ask Summer what she heard on the phone, but Ryan was afraid of Summer's deathly nails. The question might make her use those death claws against him. And Ryan wanted to live longer than 18 years.

Actually, besides the nagging feeling of uncertainty, the ride had been quite pleasant. Ryan was glad that Summer wasn't in a mood to bitch about his driving. Ryan knew he drove too fast, but Chino still hadn't completely worn off of him. Ryan remembered the ride to Tijuana. God that trip was hell, listening to Summer yell at Seth because of his granny-like driving caused a major headache. Seth had also told of Summer's gentle heart.

When Ryan had passed dead roadkill, he was praying. Seriously, praying, that Summer wouldn't demand him to pull over and give the animal a proper burial. That was really not his thing. Not like she didn't actually try to make an attempt. Plus, he didn't have a shovel. Once, there was a dead raccoon up ahead and Summer had startled and craned to get a better look at the deceased animal. But Ryan had shot her his signature look which made Summer lean back into her seat and sulk.

Summer was quiet now though. She looked at the scenery. Ryan had ridden on this high way a lot, it was the same route to Chino. He remembered when he was the passenger and he gazed out at the coastline full of uncertainty. He had a feeling that Summer felt the same way at the moment.

"Do you think Seth loves that Samantha girl?" Summer blurted out.

Ryan was silent for a minute.

"I-I- d-don't . . . know." Ryan spoke carefully and slowly, keeping Summer's feelings in consideration.

"Did I ever tell you that Seth proposed to me?" Summer asked, while musing on the memory.

Ryan raised his head. "You mean, another ring, in addition to . . . _that_?" He gestured to the ruby ring that Summer had on.

Summer blushed and nodded, before subconsciously rubbing the band.

"Well, what did you say?" Ryan asked, surprised at the confession.

Summer was silent and turned away from him.

Ryan didn't press it.

* * *

Samantha was sitting at the coffee table sipping coffee.

"So, where do you want to have your wedding?" Grace, the wedding planner, asked.

Samantha paused for a second, "I want to have the biggest, most beautiful wedding ever."

"So where, exactly?"

"Anywhere pretty!" Samantha snapped. Seriously the woman had been asking her that question for the past hour. At first, Samantha had tried to explain that she didn't really know yet. Then she resorted to telling Grace that she wanted it to be somewhere pretty, _hoping _that she could present some names. That's what planners do right?

"Um. . . you could have it at the W hotel in Beverly Hills."

_Finally! _

Samantha smiled. "That would be wonderful. I hope to have the wedding in August."

"Isn't that a bit too early?" Anna asked. She had been granted with the wonderful task of being maid of honor. This was extremely painful, she didn't want to see Seth marry someone else. She wanted to be the one at the altar, not the one standing ten feet away. But, she didn't want Samantha to be suspicious. Best friends were there for everything. Still, that didn't mean she couldn't prolong the ceremony.

"I mean it's only in, like, 3 months." Anna reasoned.

Sam smiled. "Anna, sweetie, it's my wedding."

'Since when did Sam call her sweetie?' Okay, so Anna could_ try_ to prolong the wedding. .

Samantha suddenly stood up. "Well, ladies, I have to jet. Haha, get it, because I'm going on a jet?"

Grace and Anna stared at her with blank faces.

"Okay . . . I'm on my way." Samantha picked up her light jean jacket and slipped it on.

The wedding planner hastily put away her agenda and all the files concerning the details of the wedding. She grabbed all of them and let herself out of the door. Only Anna remained in the room with Samantha who was about the hurriedly leave the room.

"Sam, wait!" Anna called after her.

Sam turned with slight irritation in her face. "Yes?"

"Where are you going?" Anna asked.

"I'm flying a jet to Stanford, Ca. Seth said he was at some girl's house. I think her name was Marissa. I'm sure he won't mind if I dropped by to tell him some details about the wedding." Sam smiled to herself. Then she looked at Anna's surprised face.

"Isn't that like against the first amendment, or something like that?" Anna inquired.

Samantha looked at her. 'Well, I know who didn't pay attention in World Studies and Government. Isn't her major _law_?" She shrugged it off.

"Oh, don't worry. I just looked in his address book. I'm not like a, stalker. I do that all the time for our parties, he just hands me the book when I want to plan a party." Samantha laughed. ". . .Stalker. . ." She muttered while laughing. "Oh, Anna, you are too funny."

Samantha brushed past her.

Anna actually wasn't shocked at the fact that Sam knew where Marissa lived, but why Seth was at Marissa's. 'Marissa was really pretty, was it possible that they. . .'

Once the shock wore off, Anna yelled down the stairs to where Sam was about to leave the house. "Sam! Can I come?"

Samantha smiled. "Sure! Come on!"

Anna smiled. 'Best friends were so easy to manipulate. It was time to do a bit detective work.

* * *

Seth finished feeding Savannah. She burped much to the delight of Marissa.

"That is just _so cute!_" Marissa squealed.

Seth quirked an eyebrow. "Babies vomiting are _real cute_."

Marissa sighed. "Babies are just so cute!"

She held out her hands for the baby.

Seth handed the baby to her.

Marissa rocked Sav to sleep.

Seth watched with amusement. "You know, you'll make a great mom."

"Really?!?"

"Yea." Seth looked away.

Marissa sighed and put Savannah back into her crib.

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Seth got up and left the room.

Marissa rubbed her stomach. She followed Seth out the door.

* * *

Seth opened the door.

"Summer?"

"Cohen."

Summer pushed her way past Seth and entered the house.

"Hey Seth." A very uncomfortable Ryan stood in the doorway.

"Hey man!" Seth pulled him in and did a man-hug.

"Marissa."

"Ryan."

"Okay, I'll leave you two to stare at each other."

* * *

Seth left the room and followed Summer who was about to enter Savannah's room.

Seth ran and put his hand on Summer's shoulder. "Summer, stop."

Summer didn't heed his warning. She put her hand on the doorknob.

"Summer! I said stop!" He grabbed her arm and pulled her forcefully back.

"Cohen. Stop! You're hurting me."

Seth dropped her arm. "Look I'm sorry. Let's take this outside."

He walked out to the backyard where the only thing in sight was the Stanford campus. The hot tub, turned off, stood idly by. "Summer-."

"I want Savannah." She stood there, with arms crossed, a stern expression on her face.

"You can't-."

He was cut off by Summer's lips against his. Seth had wanted this so much, but Summer had caused him so much pain before. Disgust built within him. Seth turned his head away and he pushed Summer off of him.

Summer's heart was broken and tears started to come to her eyes.

"Seth. . ."

"Summer! Why do you think you can do this? You can't just waltz back it like nothing happened. Do you even remember what you did?"

_Memories consume  
Like opening the wound  
I'm picking me apart again  
You all assume  
I'm safe here in my room  
Unless I try to start again_

"Seth, I'm trying to change."

Seth looked into her eyes. She might have looked sincere, but he couldn't trust her anymore.

_I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
Cuz inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused_

His head was confused in turmoil. "Summer! You fucking left. You can't change it. I've moved on, you need to go away and let me live my life."

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why that I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I know it's not alright  
So I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit, tonight_

"Seth, I want things to go back to the way it used to be." Summer pleaded. "We can be a real family and have Saturday dinners with Ryan and Marissa. . ."

"Summer I can't. Too much has already happened."

"Too hell it has. I know you love me too much." Summer used her saccharine tone to hopefully sway Seth.

"You don't even know half of it. I've done too much. It's irreversible."

"Nothing you have done can change what has happened between us." Summer put her hands on Seth's chest.

"You don't understand!!!" Seth screamed at her. "I have a fiancé who has taken care of Savannah her whole life. And I have Marissa-." Seth broke off.

"Can Marissa replace me?" Summer asked angrily. Seth was destroying her hopes and dreams.

"Listen, do you know what friends with benefits is?" Seth yelled.

Of course he knew that Summer knew. Hell, everyone knew.

Summer shook her head, tears falling. She knew what he was about to say. And she wanted to be in denial.

"I've been fucking Marissa for 9 months." Seth yelled.

_I'll paint it on the walls  
Cuz I'm the one at fault  
I'll never fight again  
And this is how it ends_

"Oh my god. Oh my god. . ." Summer sat down on the grass. "I was pregnant."

Seth corrected her. "No, you weren't. That was the night you left. A pity fuck."

Ryan emerged from the shadows. "Seth?" His face twisted in anger.

Marissa followed him. Her face was mixed with guilt, fear, and anger. "Seth. . . why?" She plead with him.

Seth wanted to shoot himself right there.

"What the hell?" Samantha emerged from the front of the house, Anna in tow. "Marissa, you, whore."

Anna stared at him with wide eyes.

"Great, a party." Seth muttered.

* * *

A/N: Okay, you might not get why Seth and Marissa are friends with benefits. Seth was really hurting, Marissa was Summer's best friend, in a way, it felt probably felt like screwing Summer over and Marissa being the closest thing to Summer. Marissa, there was a nasty breakup, you'll know why later. But, she was mad at Ryan and she makes stupid mistakes, i.e. Tijuana, Oliver. . . Plus, they are both hot, so they thought of it as just random hookups at a party. Please review. Some ideas would be great.

the song is Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park


	5. Gone In an Instant

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**_Bittersweet Homecoming_**

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A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I know that many of you didn't like the SethMarissa thing, but don't worry I'm a total SS shipper. They are just too cute-onscreen and off.

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_Gone In an Instant_

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Anna gaped with her mouth open.

"What the hell is going on, Seth?" A furious Samantha screamed. "I swear, you better expl-."

"Wait, so that kiss didn't mean anything to you?" Anna interrupted, her eyes shooting daggers at Seth.

All three other girls turned and stared at Seth.

Seth just buried his head further in his arms, not daring to look up.

Ryan laughed lightly to himself. He shouldn't have found this situation humorous, but strangely, he did. He knew that he should be mad at Marissa, but they were broken up and he had messed up with Theresa. Plus, how could someone not find it funny that Seth had played four women at the same time. That was a skill. Seth could officially be called a "playa" or a "P-I-M-P". Ryan imagined him with a big bowler hat, a big platinum chain hanging around his neck, and a diamond chalice filled with Cristal. Ryan laughed really hard after that thought.

Then he looked up. The laughter died down in his throat as he saw four women look at him like he was a serial murderer. Even Seth lifted his head and turned slowly with a look of utter confusion.

Seth looked miserable. But anyone in his position would've. His time had come, he had way too much fun. Both gods had probably mutually agreed that a particular Seth Cohen needed to be punished for his cheating. Ryan expected a lightening bolt to electrocute Seth at the very instant.

Ryan looked up at the sky. The sun was still shining ever so gloriously and the world had a beautiful glow that only California possessed.

Seth moaned a indecipherable phrase which was muffled by his arms. Ryan assumed that those words wouldn't help his case with the gods at all. Ryan felt pity for Seth, a lot. Ryan was upset that Marissa did sleep with Seth, it close to home, but it wasn't like he was the perfect virginal saint after they broke up. When Ryan called Marissa, they had decided to be mutual friends. They both agreed that too much drama had happened for them to both be together so soon again. Plus, Ryan had a feeling that Marissa and Seth were probably drunk every time.

The four girls, each glaring at each other, knew they weren't going to get an explanation soon stalked in different directions.

* * *

Ryan sat next to Seth. "Karma's a bitch, man."

"Karma screwed me over." Seth moaned.

Ryan assented. "Yeah, man, it did."

Seth lifted his head and shook it so that his unruly curls bounced around. "Oh. . . and I'm sorry about Marissa."

Ryan shrugged. "I did a lot of things in the past. Not in that way, but still. There was Theresa, Laci, Katie . . ."

"Wait there was a Katie?" Seth racked his brain, trying to find a possible search result.

"Yeah." Ryan tried to clarify for him. "Brunette cheerleader, really pretty."

Seth looked at him, still with a puzzled look.

Ryan stared at him. "Captain of the squad?"

Seth looked like he just had an epiphany. "Oh, Katie, Katie."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Who else?" He muttered.

"I think that was the perfect time to say Eureka." Seth said. "I always try to find a way to say it, but I miss the opportunity."

'He shouldn't be hung up on that.' Ryan thought.

Seth got up and dusted the back of his pants. "I'm checking on Savannah."

* * *

"So you're not mad at me?" Marissa asked as she snuggled in Ryan's arms.

"I am." Ryan affirmed. "But I'm trying not to show it."

Marissa bopped Ryan's head with a blue pillow. "At least I didn't get anyone to make a claim that that I impregnated them."

Ryan raised his eyebrows.

Marissa giggled. "Ew. That's gross." She snuggled even further as Ryan kissed her on her forehead.

Seth felt like he was going to puke. Ryrissa was all too unbearable. He didn't know why he dealt with it. Seth got up. He turned around and was prepared to say good bye when he realized neither Ryan and Marissa would care. They were too wrapped up in their world. Seth took Savannah from her play pen and placed her in the blue stroller she loved. It had two different seats, one where the baby could sit, and the other where he/she could sleep. Seth put her in the sleeping compartment. Seth exited Marissa's house.

* * *

Seth loved walking around the Stanford campus. Julie had wanted to make sure her "baby girl" didn't have to share a stuffy dorm room or go to a sorority, so she begged her latest victim to buy Marissa a house near the campus. The house was one of the biggest, beautiful houses. It had a pool and a beautiful deck with a great location. And the house didn't come cheap.

Seth walked to a park where there weren't many students. Most of the students were either packing to go home, or had already left. Seth reflected on his life as he watched Savannah peacefully sleep, with out a care in the world. Not ever knowing her mother.

Summer had come and gone. She fled the house and took the Range Rover. Then called the house and said it was left at some parking spot near the airport. That was the last trace of Summer.

Seth knew that he had basically pushed Summer out of the door of his life, but he couldn't help it. What she did was inhumane and she couldn't come back and act like nothing ever happened. What bothered Seth the most was the fact that Summer didn't even try harder to see her own daughter. She just fled, not wanting to go through any hardships. Seth doubted Summer would be back in his life for a long time.

So he should just marry Samantha anyways, right? She was sweet, nice, beautiful and clever. She was a trophy wife and Seth knew he was a trophy husband. Samantha had been through everything with him. He couldn't let a girl like that slip away. Not after he let one girl go through his fingers. All it would take was one phone call, to make all the problems disappear.

Seth looked at Savannah.

Seth reached into his back pocket and took out his cell phone. He flipped it open and pressed the 4 button for it to speed dial. It rang. . .

"Seth?"

"Anna?"

Seth quickly flipped his cell phone shut.

The blonde nervously stood near him. She was standing a bit behind him, higher since they were on a hill.

Seth motioned for her to sit next to him, under the shade of the tree he was leaning against.

Anna gathered her loose cotton skirt and sat down. She fiddled a bit with her fingers. "I know this is awkward, but. . ."

Seth waited for her to continue.

"Did that kiss . . . mean . . . anything to you?" Anna hesitantly asked, but practically blurted out the last part.

Seth's face grew into a worried sort of glance. "Oh Anna. . . I'm so . . . sorry." Seth paused, trying to find the words that would make it seem much more subtle. "I was drunk, and I didn't have anybody. You do remember, that after, you introduced me to Samantha."

Seth reminisced about the meeting. He was struck by her beauty and her poise. She was so unlike Summer, someone different, it was like a gulp of fresh air. He was beyond drunk, but somehow Samantha was still somewhat attracted to him. He convinced her to have a few drinks, which turned into a dozen for her. She was so different when she was drunk. Being intoxicated really did that to people. Seth remembered they staggered to a local fancy hotel that was near the bar. Not many people were in the lobby, but those who were turned their heads. They were both rich and the clerk didn't really mind their state, as long as they paid. Samantha paid for a penthouse and on the elevator, they were making out like crazy in their alcohol-induced frenzy with an elderly couple looking on, shocked. But the couple was stuck with Seth and Sam for 13 floors in the glass elevator. Seth could still remember the question that he asked them that night.

_"Do you have any condoms on you? I prefer grape but she," Seth gestured to Samantha, "likes Strawberry." _

_The woman wildly gesticulated no. _

That night, Seth and Samantha stayed up until morning doing really some ahem. . . acts. He woke up to a pounding headache and a girlfriend.

Seth hung his head low. He couldn't look Anna in the eye. "No, I'm sorry, it didn't mean anything."

There he said it. Anna's heart crashed. Her worst nightmare was confirmed. She had been hoping-holding out that Seth wouldn't go the next step with Samantha because he still had something with her. Which was wrong. She would just be the friend who was a girl. The girl that lost to Summer Roberts then to Samantha Delvemen. Tears started to sting her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Anna quickly swiped at them as she hurriedly got up and ran away.

"Anna. . ." Seth called out to no avail. She was gone.

* * *

A/N: More reviews = faster update. Comments and Criticism! :). Flamers help my writing. . . so don't worry. Wow, and no song in this chapter!


	6. Adding to the Quagmire

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**_Bittersweet Homecoming_**

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A/N: Aw, the reviews are awesome.

Littleputz114 - that was so sweet.

Nels6354 – Kirsten and Sandy bought all of their stuff. You'll see why they have so much extra cash to drop.

Justme2005 – preparing for the next year? 2005? lol. Don't worry I love SethSummer. They are just so great on and off-screen.

To everyone else, thank you so much.

And yes, this is a seth/summer shipper.

* * *

_Adding to the Quagmire_

* * *

"We're in wedding mode. Chop, Chop." Samantha ordered like a drill sergeant.

As Seth lined up with everyone else that was in attendance, he whispered to Ryan, "For a wedding gift do you think I should get an army outfit for her? And a helmet?"

Ryan laughed.

"Do you find something hilarious, Atwood?" Samantha asked menacingly as she looked Ryan right in the eye.

Ryan gulped. "No." He sputtered.

"And . . . _Seth_." Sam said exasperated. "What. Are. You. Doing. In. Line?" She yanked Seth by his arm out of the line to stand next to her as she surveyed her company.

Behind her back, Seth smiled sympathetically to everyone else. As Samantha yelled at one of her bridesmaids, Seth mouthed Bridezilla and imitated Godzilla wrecking some sort of city. Probably Tokyo.

Everyone stifled their laughs.

"I saw that, Seth." Samantha stated with nonchalance.

Seth dropped his arms and they hung limply next to his body.

* * *

Summer had no clue what the hell she was doing. She was in a cab en route to the Cooper's house. Summer had somewhat forgiven Marissa for sleeping with Seth.

Sleeping with him multiple times.

That was so against the best friend pact.

Jerry Springer shit.

Summer knew she had triggered it, but still after hyper-ventilating for over an hour after she ran away from Marissa's college residence, she caught a plane to Newport, packed her bags and fled back to New York City.

The cab started to climb up the steep hill that was the Cooper's driveway. The cab stopped at the top of the circle. Marissa ran out to greet Summer.

"Sum!" Marissa yelled. She held her arms wide open and embraced Summer.

"Coop!" Summer yelled back with equal enthusiasm. They walked back in the house, leaving the poor cab driver to unload the many Louis Vuitton suitcases.

"Dad!" Marissa yelled up to the second floor. "Summer's here!"

"Wow." Summer breathed. She was standing in the front room and there were two staircases on either side of the room that led to the next floor. Jimmy Cooper must have really made a profit with the restaurant. This house was even grander than the Nichols' residence where Summer often went during the summer of Seth's Tahiti adventure.

Marissa impatiently tapped her foot when she didn't hear any response from her dad. "Erg. . ."

"Where's your dad?" Summer inquired.

"Probably with Hailey." Marissa replied. "And I don't want to know what they're doing."

Summer gaped with her mouth open. "Do they actually have sex, when you're home?"

Marissa shrugged. "All the time. And it's quite loud."

"Now _that's _over share." Hailey remarked from the balcony that was overlooking the bottom floor.

"Hey. . . kiddo. . ." Jimmy came behind Hailey and wrapped his arm around her waist. He was clearly embarrassed, his cheeks were bright red.

"Hey Hailey, Mr. Cooper." Summer said politely.

Hailey pouted and turned to Jimmy. "Why does she call you Mr. Cooper and me, Hailey?"

Summer's eyes widened. "Are you two . . .?"

Marissa rolled her eyes. "No, she just likes to joke around."

Hailey laughed. "We'll leave you two alone so you can talk girl talk. We're." Hailey motioned between Jimmy and her. "- going to go back to our loud sex."

"Hailey!" Jimmy admonished, clearly more embarrassed than before. If that was possible.

"Whatever." Hailey playfully gave him a kiss. "I'm going to get some groceries. Marissa do you want Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, with whipped cream, cherries, and colored sprinkles? Oh and also some Strawberry Ice cream? All Ben and Jerry's? I know you hate the rich stuff."

Marissa nodded eagerly. "Yeah and more because of Summer. Ooh and some waffle cones!"

Hailey rolled her eyes. "Duh! What's ice cream with out the waffle cones? Anything else?"

Marissa shook her head.

Hailey hopped down the stairs and. She waved to everyone at the door then exited. The three of them heard her BMW convertible roar off.

"C'mon." Marissa waved to Marissa and they climbed the stairs to Marissa's room.

After Marissa closed the door to her room and Summer was situated comfortably on the bed, Summer blurted out, "What's up with Hailey?"

Marissa didn't seem disturbed by the question. "She moved in. Her and Dad are probably going to get married soon. I guess. I dunno." She sat on the bed. "Hailey is really cool. She is really young and knows what it's like so I can talk to her. But also she takes care of me like a mother. Like she'll always fuss over me. It's great."

Summer was almost jealous. Not like she wanted her ex-boyfriend's aunt to be her step-mom.

Well sort of.

No.

Too weird. Incesty.

Just like Ryan and Marissa. Ryan was dating his aunt. And every time they made out. Or had . . .sex.

Summer shuddered at the thought.

Marissa looked at her.

"Sum? You cold?"

* * *

"Remind me why I'm doing this again?" Seth miserably asked as he sat down on an ottoman.

"Because it's the right thing and Samantha has been taking care of Savannah - who isn't even her child – since birth." Ryan responded.

Seth sighed irritably. "I don't want to marry _her. _I want to marry Summer."

Ryan stared at him hard. "She left, Seth. And then she came out of the blue. Then ran off. She doesn't even make an effort to be a good mom. Or a good person."

"I should've run after her." Seth muttered shaking his head violently.

"Seth! You're about to get married in like a month!" Ryan yelled at Seth.

"I want to _marry Summer._" Seth whined.

Ryan rolled his eyes. "I can't deal with this anymore." Ryan started to walk away.

Seth's eyes opened wide. "NO!" He ran in front of Ryan and dropped on his knees. "Ryan, don't leave me alone. Not with _her._" Seth motioned downstairs.

Ryan still started to walk away but realized he couldn't move. He looked down and saw Seth hugging his legs together for dear life.

"I'll do _anything._ Just keep me away from Samantha." Seth begged hugging Ryan's knees even tighter than ever.

Ryan gave in.

"Seth!" A very pissed Samantha yelled from somewhere downstairs.

"What?" Seth yelled back. He was clearly irritated.

"Get your ass down here." Samantha yelled back.

She really swore or talked like that when there were guests in the house.

Ryan and Seth exchanged a glance.

"This is going to be one hell of a marriage." Seth stated as he walked out of the room.

"Yup." Ryan said to himself. "And I'm going to watch it crash and burn from the front row."

* * *

Summer stood in front of the 7 foot mirror that totally dwarfed her small structure. She was wearing a champagne colored silk Vera Wang dress. "Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

"Doing what?" Marissa called from the bathroom where she was applying lip gloss. She walked out wearing a Missoni dress with high brown stilettos.

"Crashing Seth's pre-wedding bash." Summer responded as she reached for her own stilettos. She looked at Marissa's attire and gave an approving smile. "Ryan hates when you wear stilettos because you are so much taller than him."

They both giggled.

"You have to crash the party because Samantha is a bitch and you deserve to be with Seth." Marissa stated.

"Fine, fine, fine." Summer said despondently.

A car honked somewhere downstairs. They both heard Jimmy and Hailey walk downstairs and start to talk to someone outside. Marissa peeked out of her window. A black Cadillac stretch limo was parked downstairs.

"The limo's here."

Summer nodded and they both walked out of the room downstairs. Jimmy and Hailey were waiting downstairs for them.

"You guys look good." Jimmy commented.

"You really do look great." Hailey added.

Marissa and Summer blushed.

"Let's party!"

* * *

The party was already bustling. Seth near the bar, trying to beg the bartender to give him some more shots. The big burly guy was defiant, he didn't want Seth to get drunk.

"Look, dude, I'm paying you a hell of a lot of money. Just give me a damn beer." Seth yelled.

The guy shook his head.

"Half?" Seth asked, trying to compromise.

"A fourth? I swear if you don't give it to me I'm going to fire you. . ." Seth said.

The bartender sighed and poured some Heineken. "You've already had 6 shots. . ."

Seth grabbed the cup and stuck his tongue out.

In response, the bartender stuck his out too.

"Okay. . ." Seth walked away as fast as he could.

* * *

Summer was getting cold feet. She was in front of the W hotel and it the driveway was bustling with black limos.

"Sum!" Marissa scolded.

Jimmy and Hailey had left them to their own devices after they arrived. Jimmy wasn't very well liked in the Newport community so Hailey and him were trying to sneak in some other way, rather than go through the grand entrance.

Summer sighed and mustered some courage. She started ascending the steps. The doorman opened the gold-plated doors for them and they walked into the lobby. The lobby was practically empty since the party had begun a while ago. Someone showed them to the entrance of the party.

Suddenly Marissa began to feel sick. "I need to go to the bathroom." Marissa weakly managed.

"Coop!" Summer protested, but Marissa was already running towards the bathroom, past the swanky furniture and potted plants.

Summer took a deep breath before entering the room. The entrance was highly over-decorated. It had flowers and balloons and what not. It was on a bit of a platform and the room was a few steps below them. Summer observed everyone in the room from above. She was a good five feet above everyone. As Summer prepared to walk down the stairs, she knocked over a large porcelain vase.

The vase toppled then crashed on the ground, into a million pieces.

Everyone's attention was diverted. They all stared at Summer.

'When in doubt smile prettily.' Summer had always told herself. That's what she did. She cracked a beautiful smile and managed a sly, "Oops."

The room was in total silence. Even the band had stopped playing.

"Summer!" Seth called out very loudly. He ran across the room and to where Summer was standing. He tripped on the last step. Recovering himself, he stood up and gave a kiss on each cheek as a hello. "I'm glad you came!" Seth said unnecessarily loudly.

"Are you drunk?" Summer asked.

"I think." Seth slurred a little bit. "Yes." He stated before almost losing his balance.

Seth offered his arm. Summer took it, more to stabilize him.

They walked down the steps in full glory.

* * *

Marissa puked for the second time into the white china bowl of one of the toilets. She lay crumpled on the floor. After she was done, she laid her head on the side of the black stall.

"No, this can't be happening." Marissa whispered to herself. Marissa rubbed her stomach again. She had thought she was pregnant at Seth's house because she hadn't had her period for two months, but she had taken a pregnancy test and it said she was negative. Now she was seriously doubting it. Marissa hadn't been drinking so it couldn't be from drinking. . . Marissa was really worried. 'Maybe it's just a fluke.'

But in the back of her head, she knew she was pregnant with Seth's baby.

* * *

A/N: I feel eeeeeviiiiiiiilllllllllllll. Comments. Reviews are appreciated.


	7. Consequences

**_Bittersweet Homecoming_**

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* * *

**_

_Consequences_

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_**

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A/N: I seriously have no clue where I'm going with this. I do know it's a Seth and Summer shipper. For those who reviewed concerning the baby, it's Seth's. If there was a possibility the baby could be Ryan's, she would think it was Seth's. See the logical reasoning?

* * *

_Life seems perfect for a split second. _

_But perfection easily crumbles. _

* * *

"Hey everyone." Seth waved to nobody in particular. The attendants of the party gaped at the drunk groom-to-be. "This is my ex-girlfriend, Summer."

"Seth, stop it!" Summer hissed at him.

Seth didn't heed the warning. He pointed to Summer and changed his voice as if he was telling a secret. "She's Savannah's mother."

That was it. Everyone knew then knew that Summer was the flighty girl who ran out as fast as she could of her daughter's life.

Sandy and Kirsten stepped up. Sandy yanked Seth by his arm out of the room.

"What the hell is going on here?" Samantha screamed. That bitch was ruining her wedding party. The night was supposed to be all about her. She was getting _married_ for god's sakes.

Everyone stiffened.

"Maybe you should leave." Kirsten whispered to Summer.

Summer nodded and turned to walk out the door.

Samantha's voice stopped her. "Leaving already? Just like you did to Savannah."

Summer swallowed her pride. A rage blackout was bubbling inside of her. Her back was to everyone in the room.

"Do you even miss your baby girl? Or is she just some no big thing that was in your past?" Sam asked.

Summer whipped around and marched towards Samantha. "Look. I don't know who you are, and I don't care. There's a lot more than me just leaving that Seth didn't fill you in about. So why don't you let it go. Oh wait you can't. Because you're the rebound girl, and guys never really like the rebound. Face it you're just here to fill a space." Summer tossed at her.

Everyone in the room could feel the palpable burn that Samantha just received.

Samantha didn't back down. "I'm still the one _marrying _him."

Summer wasn't going to let her have the last word. "Seth isn't even _faithful _to you. He's not even using you for sex. He's just marrying you because it's the right thing. I mean he is so having a torrid affair behind your back."

Samantha remained firm and didn't even flinch. "You're just making blind accusations."

Summer scoffed. "All those "late nights" and "business trips"? You didn't really think he had those. He works as an _intern. _Interns don't usually have late nights and definitely don't go on business trips."

Samantha remained silent but still had a determined look on her face.

Summer wanted to make Samantha cry she was so pissed. "I mean Seth and Marissa have sex in your bed and probably in your car."

_Oops. _Summer couldn't believe she had just said that out load. So much stuff came out of her mouth when she was angry.

That really stuck a nerve. Samantha and Marissa were close. They weren't best friends, but they were still pretty good friends.

"Is it true?" Samantha whispered. She glanced at Ryan who was also a close confidant.

Ryan nodded.

Samantha really looked like she was about to cry.

Summer's anger was starting to simmer down. She started to really feel bad. Samantha really hadn't done anything wrong to her. She was actually really thoughtful and caring for taking care of Savannah. Summer now felt like shit. She dashed out of the reception hall.

Kirsten walked in front to comfort Sam. She hugged her and Samantha started to sob on Kirsten's shoulder. "I think the wedding's over." Samantha whispered.

Everyone started to back out and gather their coats to leave. The night's events weighed heavily on their hearts.

* * *

Marissa slowly trudged up the stairs to Seth's house.

She rang the doorbell.

She heard the lock being turned. Marissa took a big breath.

Seth opened the door. "Hey Marissa."

Marissa looked up. "Hey." She said a bit forlornly.

Seth was suddenly concerned. He moved out of the doorway so Marissa could come in.

Marissa glanced around the house and suddenly noticed how empty it was.

Seth noticed her gaze and sighed. "Yeah. Samantha wanted out. She moved out all her stuff yesterday." He thought about the wedding party two days ago. He was drunk and acted like a fool. His parents and Ryan were constantly on his back about it. The next morning, Samantha showed up with a moving company behind her. They talked in their bedroom while the people were downstairs moving the stuff out. Samantha explained that she couldn't marry him when he had been with Marissa. Summer had really shown her the light. She was right, Samantha was just the rebound girl. Seth didn't say anything. There wasn't really anything he could say. Samantha had given back the ring and given him a quick kiss on the lips, then said goodbye. She walked out of the room.

She walked out of his life.

Marissa had heard all of the details about the party from her dad and Hailey. Mostly from Hailey.

Suddenly, the dark, dank house made her feel really constrained. "Can we leave the house? I need to tell you something." She didn't even look up to see the surprise on Seth's face.

Seth had a feeling whatever she was going to tell him wasn't good.

* * *

They were walking on the boardwalk. They were holding hands. It didn't mean anything, just made them both feel better. They didn't talk, just walked.

A passerby gaped at them. She had soccer shorts and an athletic top on. She was on rollerblades obviously enjoying the view of the beach. "You guys are just the cutest couple." She exclaimed at Marissa and Seth.

Marissa's heart broke.

Seth offered a nervous, "Thanks."

"Seth." Marissa started out. She took a big breath to calm herself. She leaned on the boardwalk railing and gazed at the calming waves of the ocean.

"Marissa." Seth said.

Marissa turned her head to look at Seth. She stared into his large hazel eyes.

The air around them was lively with the sounds of people, restaurants, and entertainers mixed with the sound of the wavese crashing.

"I'm pregnant, Seth."

Seth's face was that of stone.

"With your baby." Marissa said while a tear rolled down her face.

Seth was stunned.

"Two months." Marissa added on for no particular reason.

"Abort it." Seth stated.

Marissa looked at him through her tear covered eyes. "What?" She whispered.

* * *

A/N: Review!


	8. Nothing is Ever Perfect

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Bittersweet Homecoming

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_Nothing is Ever Perfect_

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A/n: I really appreciate your reviews everyone. To everyone who reads my story and doesn't review, you're a poop. JK. I just hope you like the story. Oh and OC.i.luv.you, I'm sorry you don't get the story. Truly I am.

OMG, to anyone who has read my other story, "What does the future hold?", (no I'm not pimping the story, read it if you want to. . . I don't care. . .) in the last chapter I had Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush married. Guess what? They're engaged in real life. Outside of fanfiction world. Damn I'm good! I'm like. . . .gasp . . . psychic!!

* * *

Marissa sat crumpled up in the corner of her bathroom. She sobbed uncontrollably. She felt broken in so many ways. Broken heart, broken spirit, broken hopes and dreams. Not even alcohol could cure her of her sadness. She couldn't even drink if she wanted to. She was pregnant.

The word hit her stunned every time.

Pregnant.

And the fucking father didn't even care. He wanted her to _abort _the baby. His fucking baby.

And what was she going to tell Summer when she had a bulging stomach?

Oh my god. Summer.

Marissa was now the back-stabbing bitch/whore.

What was Ryan going to say to this triangle?

Oh my god. Ryan.

Marissa leaned back onto the bathroom wall in defeat. Could she hurt anymore people? The ones she truly cared about?

There was a loud knock on the door.

"Ris? Sweetie, are you all right?" Hailey called through the locked door.

"Yeah." Marissa weakly managed.

Hailey was concerned. Marissa, locked doors, and bathrooms weren't exactly a great combination. "Ris. . .you sure?"

Marissa picked herself off the floor slowly. She went to the sink and swigged some mouthwash to get out the putrid taste of throwup. She had been throwing up partly from morning sickness and also because of the sadness and twisted situation. She rinsed her face. Quickly, she applied some make up that had been lying around on the sink counter. Marissa took a look in the mirror. She looked somewhat presentable, her puffy eyes were covered by her eyeshadow and some miracle cream. The redness of her eyes had already started to fade and the eye drops had made them almost normal.

Spritzing some air freshener, she walked out to where Hailey was waiting for. "Hi." Marissa offered.

"Hi. . ." Hailey said suspiciously as she glanced into the bathroom to see if there were any bottles of pills or vodka lying around.

Marissa thought for a second. "Hailey? Am I your step-sister?"

Hailey thought about the family tree before replying. "Yeah I think you are."

Marissa's face contorted in obvious repulsion. "That means I've been having sex with my nephew. Seth." She added for clarification.

"I know, sweetie. I think everyone who was at the wedding reception knows that." Hailey stated.

Marissa blushed.

Hailey continued. "Plus, you slept with Ryan who's your nephew too."

"I never actually slept with Ryan." Marissa said hotly. She glanced at Hailey's face of doubt.

"I'm not a whore, plus things were weird between us. And Ryan isn't really part of the Cohen family with his genes."

Hailey nodded in understanding.

God she was going to give Hailey a nephew or niece.

Suddenly, Marissa felt sick. She ran to the bathroom to throw up. Hailey rushed in after her, holding up her hair as she leaned over the toilet bowl. After Marissa was done, Hailey offered her a wet paper towel which Marissa gratefully took.

"Marissa?" Hailey asked.

Marissa stood up to meet Hailey's eyes.

"You ok-. Oh my god, you're going to give me a nephew or niece." Hailey screamed.

Marissa closed her eyes in a futile attempt to block out everything that was coming to her way too fast.

* * *

Summer lay cuddled in Seth's arms with Savannah playing on the floor in front of them.

"Everything turned out alright." Summer gushed.

_Almost everything._Seth thought.

Ryan looked on feeling sickened.

"I'll never leave you again." Summer whispered before grabbing Seth's head to kiss him hard.

Ryan rolled his eyes and felt like he was going to gag. "I'm gonna get out of here." Ryan stated.

The couple ignored him. Well unless you call Seth waving you away acknowledgment.

Summer broke away from the kiss. "Did Ryan say something?"

Seth shrugged.

"Look, Seth, I have to tell you something?"

"Seth!" Kirsten screamed.

Summer and Seth both winced. Summer stood up from the couch.

"Oh, Summer. You're here." Kirsten shot a glare at Seth. "Seth get your ass here."

Seth obediently followed his mother out the room while Summer looked on surprised.

Kirsten dragged her son out to the second floor. "Seth Cohen? What the hell are you doing? With Summer??? She's the reason that you and Samantha and you broke up, after your obscene behavior! She was the one who left!!!" Kirsten screamed.

Seth cringed at her words. "Mom, Summer's downstairs."

Kirsten took a deep breath and lowered her voice. "Hailey told me that Marissa is pregnant with your baby. Is that true?" She stared at Seth with a death stare.

Seth nodded. "I told her to abort it."

Fury raged in Kirsten. She slapped Seth as hard as she could over the cheek. "What the fuck are you thinking? That is your child."

Seth whimpered as he held his cheek.

Kirsten didn't feel any guilt for hitting Seth. Why should she? Her son was being an ungrateful bastard. "Think long and hard about this."

Mom! But-."

Kirsten interrupted him in mid-sentence. "How do you know Summer's not going run away. She's a freakin' caprice."

Seth bowed his head, knowing his mother was right. "I'm going to see Marissa."

Summer gasped in horror, shock and shame. She had heard the whole conversation. Cohen's weren't notorious for being quiet. She was so embarrassed. Kirsten thought of her as flighty girl. And Marissa was pregnant. That stung the most. Just when she thought things between Seth and her were going to be perfect, Marissa had to ruin it. Well she knew it wasn't just Marissa's fault, but anger can always be misdirected.

Seth might leave her for Marissa!

This was absolute bull shit.

Summer wanted to march up those stairs and tell Kirsten that she had no right to say that about her.

But Summer knew what she said was true. She was unpredictable. Marissa was more stable. Well, much more stable than before. Summer heard Seth's loud lumbering footsteps on the stair case as he prepared to come down.

Summer quickly panicked and rushed back on to the sofa where she was sitting. Just as she plopped down, Seth appeared.

Summer's breathing was heavy. She swallowed to make her voice appear more normal. "What's up?"

Seth shrugged. "Nothing much, I just got to head out."

Summer wanted to scream at him and tell him to stop lying to everyone. She knew the truth; he didn't need to play all these little mind games with her. "Can I come?" Summer asked in futile attempts to give him one last chance to explain.

Seth shook his head as he grabbed his coat.

Too late, he missed his chance.

"Maybe you should go home," Seth yelled as he walked out the door.

Summer cringed when she heard the door slam. He was being so inconsiderate. Where the hell did she have to go?

She had to think of something to do fast.

Summer made up her mind to confront Marissa and Seth in the act. It might not have been the best idea, but Summer wasn't one to idle around. She ran out to her rented black Mercedes and drove off to the Cooper's house.

Not expecting what she was going to see.

* * *

A/n: Hm, what's she going to see? I wonder. You just have to review to find out.

Also, sorry about the delay, my friend was over for a week, so I had to entertain her!


	9. Engaging in Battle

**_Bittersweet Homecoming_**

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_Engaging in __Battle___

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A/N: carpanthers21, I see where you're going with the whole Seth can't - get - a - girl - thing, but I'll each girl is attracted to him for different reasons. Because this story is not AU, obviously, Summer is infatuated with him. Marissa slept with him because they both bonded over Ryan AND Summer's departure and something else happened between Ryan and Marissa. So she and Seth just both found comfort in each other. They don't really love each other, but are really good friends. Samantha liked him because he's good-looking, funny, smart, and from the same class as her. And he's rich. Anna, just because they are so alike. Plus, many people find Adam Brody attracted. Other people will attest to that. Hear, Hear. . . Anyways. Here is the end to the ridiculously long Author's Note. On to the story.

* * *

Seth drove his BMW SUV up the Cooper's driveway. He parked his car right in front of the door, got out and ran towards the front door. He impatiently ran the doorbell three times. A very disturbed Hailey opened the door.

"Hey Aunt Hailey. Is Marissa home?" Seth asked his stone-faced aunt.

Hailey just gave him a cold stare. She didn't move.

"Hailey?" Seth gestured to her body which was blocking the front door.

"What do you think you can come here for? Sex? Believe me, I think you've had enough of that. Asking Marissa to abort your baby?" Hailey screamed at him. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Seth flinched. "Look . . . It's just that Summer was back and I. . ."

Hailey slapped him. "And what? You would rather go for a girl who left you with your baby, than a girl who has been here for you?"

"I get it Aunt Hailey." Seth yelled at his aunt. "I'm a big fucking screw-up. Now let me just talk to Marissa."

"Fine." Hailey moved aside. After Seth walked in, she slammed the front door shut. The vases and sculptures in the house rattled. "She's in her room." She told Seth.

Seth sprinted up the stairs. Getting to Marissa's door way, he hesitantly knocked. "Maris?"

He didn't receive an answer. Seth knocked again, waiting in the white carpeted hallway.

The door opened. Marissa looked miserable. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and she was wearing a pink velour suit. She looked like she was going to puke anytime soon. "Seth?" She whispered.

Seth shuffled his Vans nervously on the ground. "I'm sorry, Marissa."

()

Summer had followed Seth's car to the Cooper's house. She parked her Mercedes right behind the gleaming BMW. Using the spare key Marissa gave her, she opened the door. The door creaked silently opened. She assumed Hailey was in the back of the house. She crept up the stairs. As she went up, she heard Seth and Marissa's voices. She peeked up and the door was silently open. She could make out Seth and Marissa's figures. She silently went up to the landing and flattened herself against the wall so she could hear everything undetected.

()

"Marissa, I'm so dumb. I'm a jerk. I'm a selfish jerk. I don't want you to abort the baby." Seth said as he cupped Marissa's face in his hands.

Marissa lifted her head up and look through her tears. "Really?"

Seth nodded. "You, Me, Savannah, and our baby. We can be a family."

"What about Summer?" Marissa asked.

Seth looked away. "My mom made me realize something. Summer left me. You've been there for me, always. That's what counts."

Marissa blushed. "I love you."

Seth seemed a bit taken back by the words. Marissa was afraid that he would do a Ryan and say thank you.

"I love you, too."

Summer heard Marissa kiss Seth. She couldn't take it anymore. She burst into Marissa's room.

Seth and Marissa broke away when they saw Summer. They were both extremely surprised.

"Summer?" Seth managed to spit out.

Summer went up to him and slapped him.

"Summer!" Seth yelled.

Summer ignored him and marched up to Marissa. "Look, I thought you were my best friend, but I guess you aren't."

"Summer. . ." Marissa pleaded with her.

"Coop, you're just a whore who went behind my back with _my _ex-boyfriend. He's the father of my child." Summer screamed at her.

Marissa was about to cry. "Summer, it's not what it looks like. . ."

Summer scoffed. "I think the picture is pretty clear here. You're pregnant with Seth's kid. Which means you slept with him. It is what it looks like."

"Summer. You're the reason he sleeps with me. If you hadn't left like the cowardly bitch you are, he would still be with you. And Savannah would have a real mom. But no, you just did exactly what your mom did to you. Just this time you were going to do it faster." Marissa yelled back at her as she defended yourself.

Summer's anger was just fueled even more. "Yeah, and you're stable? Right? You never OD'd on _anything_. You're perfect. Look at you Marissa, you've had every pain killer and a bottle of vodka every night. Maybe you should just abort the baby to save it some trouble."

Seth stepped in, thinking this went too far. "Summer, she doesn't have to abort the baby! It's ours not yours."

"We have a kid too? Did you forget her?"

"No, Summer. I didn't forget her. I don't think anyone could forget their child. Oh wait, Summer Roberts can."

"What did you do with Savannah when you were out partying, taking classes, sleeping with that whore?" Summer nodded towards Marissa. "Admit it Seth, you barely spent anytime with her. She was either with your parents, the nanny, or Samantha."

"Well at least I didn't run out on her." Seth retorted.

"Seth! Summer! Cut it out." Marissa screamed.

"What?!?" They both simultaneously yelled at her.

Marissa took a deep breath. "I can't take this anymore. I can't stand to be the girl on the side or the back-stabbing bitch. Tomorrow, I'm going to schedule an appointment for an abortion."

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A/N: REVIEW OR DIE. JK!


	10. Last Minute Change of Decision

**_Bittersweet Homecoming_**

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_Last-Minute Change of Decision_

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A/N: Okay, I made a mistake, and nobody corrected me. . . But I think most of you didn't realize it, so it's not a big deal. In the first chapter, I said Hailey was six months pregnant, but let's just pretend I said three months pregnant. I'm too lazy to change it. Here's the chapter. . .

* * *

Seth drummed his fingers on the steering wheel in his car while waiting for the stoplight to turn green. He looked over at Marissa, who was leaning her head out the window. Summer had opted to not come along for their trip to Planned Parenthood.

Seth sighed at Marissa's obvious reluctance to look at him. Aborting a baby wasn't easy. In his heart, Seth knew that Marissa didn't want to abort their baby. He was actually surprised that Marissa had volunteered. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that she didn't need to do it. Everything with him and Summer was going perfect again.

Seth parked in a nice spot near the entrance of the clinic.

Without a word, Marissa unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car.

Seth followed lead.

Marissa opened the door and a bell jingled cheerfully above her head. She couldn't believe that a year ago, Theresa was here, facing the same decision as she was. In the end, Theresa kept the baby. Marissa wasn't that sure she wanted to go through. She gave Seth and Summer her word. There was no road back.

Seth signed in for her.

Marissa sat in one of the hard chairs. She grabbed a pamphlet on the process of abortion, absent-mindingly reading it. Seth sat next to her, tapping his Vans in impatience and nervousness.

The bell jingled again.

Marissa looked up to see a woman with two twin babies. They were about six months old. The woman said something to the front desk clerk and then sat down two seats away from her. She positioned the stroller in front of her.

Marissa threw the pamphlet at Seth and got up. She walked in front of the babies. They were so cute and one of them giggled while the other waved its fist. Marissa played with the baby that was sitting on the right. The baby grabbed Marissa's finger and tried to eat it.

The mother glanced down at Marissa and smiled. "You'll make a great mother."

"Ms. Cooper?" A doctor with a clipboard called out.

Seth watched Marissa interact with the baby. He held up his hand to the doctor as a sign for her to wait.

Marissa let go of the baby and gave a kiss to each of them on their cheeks. She looked at them before turning and running out the door.

Seth was immediately off his seat and after her.

Seth could see her fleeting figure with her brown hair swaying in the wind down the boardwalk. He ran to catch her, from years skateboarding, Seth had developed good leg muscles. Pretty soon he caught up to her. He grabbed her arm and spun her around.

Marissa faced him, hair whipping.

Seth noticed tears on her face. Another one fell at that instant.

"Seth. . ." Marissa whispered. "I can't do this. . . I can't do it." She buried her head in Seth's shirt.

Seth just stood there, not knowing how to react.

When Marissa's body stopped shaking, and she started to calm down, she lifted her head. "Those babies. I couldn't do it. I want to have this kid. I take back everything I said. I want a family. You, me, Sav, this kid."

Seth was speechless.

* * *

"She did what?!?" Summer screamed as she spun around to face Seth.

Seth just nodded.

Summer paced around. "Oh my god. No, this can't be happening. Oh my god."

Seth just stood there helplessly.

Summer just ran and hugged Seth.

"What a bitch!" Summer screamed.

Seth just tried to calm her down by rubbing her back.

"I wish everything could go back to normal. You know, you and me." Summer sobbed.

"Let's just pretend that for tonight, none of this nightmare has happened. It's just high school and we're carefree." Seth said.

Summer looked at him unconvincingly.

Seth grabbed her and started kissing her.

Summer grabbed Seth's shirt and they fell on the bed together.

* * *

Hailey and Marissa sat in front of the TV, pigging out on chocolate, popcorn and action films.

They were watching Kill Bill Volume 1 because Marissa wanted to get some anger out. So she channeled her frustrated through Lucy Liu's and Uma Thurman's big Japanese swords which were currently decapitating many.

"I hate being pregnant." Hailey muttered.

"Hear, Hear." Marissa said after another big bite of marshmallows.

"Are you going to tell your dad that you're pregnant?" Hailey asked. She glanced at Marissa to see her reaction.

Marissa vehemently shook her head. "I don't want my dad to know that I'm pregnant with Seth's child."

"What?!?" Jimmy Cooper yelled as he entered the room.

Behind him, Sandy, Kirsten, Julie and Caleb followed with astonished looks on their faces.

* * *

Review!


	11. I Don't Want to Be

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Bittersweet Homecoming

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* * *

_I Don't Want to Change_

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A/N: It's been an incredible time since I last updated. I guess I'm losing my inspiration for The OC. Too long of a withdrawal. If you are suffering like me, I suggest you tune into One Tree Hill on Tuesdays at 9 on the WB. A lot of people aren't big fans, but be patient and watch for awhile, it takes sometime. You'll love it.

Chad Michael Murray and James Lafferty? Is there anymore convincing?

And in tribute to One Tree Hill. . .

* * *

Julie started sobbing. "Marissa. . . Oh god."

Marissa looked helplessly around at all the faces surrounding her. A part of her wished she would just die, and yet, she wanted to prove to all of them, who knew her since she was a child, that she was a real person, not a doll that could be dressed up. She had always seen Sandy and Kirsten look at her with sincerity, but hidden was a feeling of not existing. They didn't consider her someone real; she was someone who was superficial, the prom queen. The girl who only cared what designer brand she wore.

"This is all your fault." Julie screamed, pointing at Hailey.

Hailey stood up, not noticing the tub of popcorn, that was previously on her stomach, falling to the floor, contents spilling over the cream colored carpet. "How the hell is this _my_fault."

Julie was literally turning red. Kirsten was trying to cajole her to calm down, but was starting to completely give up. Caleb looked calmly at the scene, looking at his watch a few times. Sandy stood there, watching with amusement, but straightened up when he saw that Jimmy was completely frozen.

"Oh god, I need a drink." Kirsten muttered.

Julie went up to Hailey's face. Hailey didn't even flinch when Julie's green eyes intently stared with malice. "If you took care of my daughter, she wouldn't be this _troubled_." She hissed. Then she walked away.

"Come on, Caleb." Julie walked to the doorway where Caleb was on his cell phone.

"If I had a bitch like you for a mother, I'd be _troubled_ too."

Julie stopped cold in the doorway. She turned on her feet.

Hailey just quirked her eyebrow and wore a satisfied smirk.

Julie turned back and left the room with Caleb. Hailey gave the finger to Julie's back. Kirsten sighed exhaustedly; she couldn't stand Hailey's childish behavior in such a stressful time.

Jimmy finally came back into the world. He sat down at the ottoman cradling his head in his arms. Hailey went over and rubbed his back.

Marissa felt so ashamed. So dirty. Daddy's little girl, who ran around in a pink tutu, was unmarried, pregnant, and with a father who didn't care and already had a family.

Sandy and Kirsten silently left the room, leaving a heartbroken father and a remorseful daughter.

* * *

"Seth fucking Cohen." Kirsten yelled into the phone.

"Mom?" A confused Seth asked.

Kirsten tried to control her breathing. "Get your ass here." She slammed the phone down on the receiver. Kirsten turned to Sandy and buried her sobbing face into his shirt.

The doorbell quickly rang.

Thankfully, Seth arrived alone.

Sandy grabbed Seth by his shirt collars. "What the hell are you thinking?" He released Seth who crumpled to the ground, not used to be manhandled.

Seth looked around. His father was steaming mad and his mother was hysterically crying. So they might have found out about Marissa.

Just a possibility.

* * *

A nervous knock came on Ryan's door.

Ryan opened it, to find a teary-eyed Marissa. Her appearance caught him off guard. This wasn't the Marissa he knew. She was perfect, every hair on her head was perfectly teased, her makeup light and flawless, and her clothes impeccable. But maybe, he never knew Marissa. Seth connected more with Marissa than he ever did. But for reasons unexplained, he was still deeply in love with her. He tried to let go of Marissa. He was pregnant with his brother and his best friend's child. They had sex. But no matter how many times he said to himself that he wouldn't take her back, his knees weakened, just as the sight of her.

"What are you doing here?" Ryan asked.

Marissa bit her lip in an attempt to stifle the tears she felt coming. "Can I come in?"

"Uh. . . Sure." Ryan moved out of the way.

Marissa moved towards the bed and sat down. Wordlessly, Ryan sat next to her. It was so silent, the clock's ticking oddly eerie, echoing.

"It's not your fault you know. Seth is just confused and he doesn't know what to do-." Ryan told Marissa trying to comfort her.

Marissa shook her head. "No, Seth knows what he wants. He wants Summer. I can't do anything about it. I'm such a bad person. I have no morals whatsoever."

Ryan sighed and scratched his head. He was the guy who always had to fix everything. "Hey, look at me."

She turned her head ever so slightly to look at him. Their blue eyes connected, Marissa looked down and blushed from the intensity of his stare. She lifted her eyes again.

"Everything is going to be okay. You can change who you are."

Marissa nodded. She leaned into kiss Ryan. Ryan knew it was so wrong. This girl was pregnant with her brother's kid, it was all a tangled web, this family. But he loved her

"I don't want to change." Marissa whispered as she smiled.

_

* * *

_

_I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately_

_All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind_

_I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do_

_Or who I'm supposed to be_

I don't want to be anything other than me 

_

* * *

_


	12. Run

**_Bittersweet Homecoming_**

* * *

_Run_

* * *

A/N: This song has the lyrics of Snow Patrol's Run. They're a great band; I suggest you check it out of you like alternative rock. Wow, am I plugging them in my own fanfic?

Some of you are wondering if this is a SethMarissa. I purposefully implied that shipping for two reasons: they are there because they were hurt by Ryan and I felt like I should explore the pair. Many stories are just R/M and S/S, eventually people will get sick of them.

I'm going to go into the future very soon.

But for now, this chapter will clarify everything.

* * *

"Can I go over there? I need to talk to you." The phone went dead.

* * *

A nervous knock came upon the tall door. 

Seth opened it and looked around the area to make sure no one was watching.

Marissa scowled. "Have you joined the freakin' CIA?"

Seth looked at her curiously. "What?"

Marissa rolled her eyes and pushed her way inside. This was the house she knew so familiarly, where she spent most of her senior year.

Walking over to the kitchen, Seth followed her every move. Some times he wondered why he ever did it, why he ever had the notion, but then he remembered.

Marissa had already pulled out a bag of chips from the pantry. She settled down on the big comfortable leather chair he kept in front of the sleek TV.

Seth sat besides her, totally absorbed in thought.

Marissa grabs the TV remote and switched it on to a rerun of Friends. A commercial break came on and Marissa had a sudden thought. "Do you remember when we used to do this? We would just chill out in the house, watching Savannah. And we would do other stuff to . . ." Marissa squirmed uncomfortably. "But I didn't think it would . . ."

"Blow up in our faces?" Seth finished for her.

Marissa nodded. "Did we ever have actual love?"

Seth shrugged. "Remember, I came back from my sailing excursion and Summer wouldn't talk to me, that we would have like little bonding sessions over Ryan leaving?"

Marissa laughed slightly. "We would talk a lot and say how much Ryan changed her lives. But when he came back . . . Everything was in such a chaos. I started drinking more and more, and Ryan couldn't take it. He wouldn't even look at me. And he started sleeping . . . he just started to sleep around with all these random girls."

Seth laid a reassuring hand on Marissa's shoulder. "You know it was just to spite you. In his eyes, you were turning into his mother. You were a wreck, he just needed to fill a void."

Marissa's eyes started to water. "I never meant to break you and Summer up. Really I didn't."

**FLASHBACK**

"Sethie!" Marissa shouted as she entered the Cohen's main house though the kitchen door. She tripped on the doorledge and Seth caught her.

Marissa was clearly drunk, the smell of alcohol lingered from her body. She was disoriented and she was stumbling on her feet.

Seth tried to help her up, set her on her feet, but she couldn't stay up on her own. "Marissa," Seth stated unsurely. "What are you doing here?"

Marissa laughed a bit too long. "I don't know, I decided to check up on Ryan."

Seth knew that it was just covering up the fact that Ryan had pushed her to the curb again. "Marissa you need to go home."

Marissa didn't seem to hear Seth's pleads. "I can't believe Summer is pregnant. I mean you guys must be freaked."

Seth was actually ecstatic that Summer was pregnant. She was in her 6th month and he couldn't be happier. In fifth grade he dreamed that Summer would be his wife and they would have a family. So what if the plan was six years early. A dream was a dream, and it was amazing when you conquered it.

"I always thought you were cute." Marissa whispered in Seth's ear.

"What?!?" Seth exclaimed. Was she over the top drunk?

"Some times I think that you're really hot and I just want to like jump you. But then I remember you're with Summer." Marissa continued whispering.

Seth didn't know why it had suddenly turned into confession time, but he decided to add something anyways. "I stole gum from the supermarket when I was nine."

Marissa giggled. "That's why I think you're so hot." Marissa pressed her lips against Seth's.

Seth was stunned. "Um, Marissa?" Seth asked, but Marissa just slid her tongue in his mouth.

"Cohen! What the fuck are you doing?" Summer screamed as she walked through the door Marissa had just previously entered from.

Seth pushed Marissa off of him. "Summer. Please. This isn't what it looks like at all. I know that is so cliché, but it's true." Seth rambled with urgency.

Summer's face had no emotion. "I can't believe you would do this to me."****

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Marissa started to cry. "I hate myself for doing it Seth. I ruined the lives of everyone around me. You, Summer, and Ryan. You guys couldn't even look at me."

"It's in the past, Maris. There's nothing we can do, no damage to fix." Seth changed the subject. "What did you come here for?"

"We need to end whatever we have going on." Marissa said.

_I'll sing it one last time for you_

_Then we really have to go_

_You've been the only thing that's right_

_In all I've done_

Seth stared at her, head slowly nodding.

"I'll never forget you. Ever." Marissa whispered. She kissed Seth on the lips.__

_And I can barely look at you_

_But every single time I do_

_I know we'll make it anywhere_

_Away from here_

After they were done, they stood awkwardly on their feet.

_Light up, Light up_

_As if you have a choice _

_Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_I'll be right beside you dear_

_Louder, louder_

_And we'll run for our lives_

_I can hardly speak I understand_

_Why you can't raise your voice to say_

"So this is it, right? This is the end."

"Yea."

They both took a deep breath letting all the words sink in.

_To think I might not see those eyes_

_It makes it so hard not to cry_

_And as we say our long goodbyes_

_I nearly do._

Seth laughed a little to lessen the thickening tension in the room. The TV was blaring some music and commentary, but neither paid attention. The volume seemed to be turned down. Like everything else. "You'll always a have a piece of my heart, Seth. Always. I'll never ever forget you." "Me either. . ." Marissa and Seth stood there awkwardly for a few moments still. Seth gingerly reached over to take Marissa's hand. He clasped her small one in his larger palm. They shook their hands. 

_Have heart my dear_

_We're bound to be afraid_

_Even if it's just for a few days_

_Making up for all this mess.___

They walked to the door. Over the green running carpet with the silly floral designs on it that reached the door. Marissa took the gold handle and wrenched it, swinging the door open. All of a sudden Marissa felt so lonely. She looked one last time at the house she had come to know and love. And the person she had come to know and love. "Bye." She whispered before briskly walking to her car. The engine started and the glow of the white fluorescent light bathed the surrounding area. The sun was starting to set and the sky was a pink color with purple, and it melded into the perfect blue of the oceans. 

_Light up, light up_

_As if you have a choice_

_Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_I'll be right beside you dear._

"Bye." Seth whispered to the disappearing car.


	13. Because He Knew

**_

* * *

_**

**_Bittersweet Homecoming_**

* * *

**__**

_Because He Knew_

* * *

Seth and Summer strolled hand in hand, each with an ice cream cone in their hand. The hot day was melting the confection fast and it was starting to drip down. They pushed Savannah along in her blue stroller, but they were more intent on each other than the peacefully sleeping baby.

The boardwalk was crowded with so many people, but mainly they were tourists, snapping pictures like crazy.

Summer took a bite out of the strawberry ice cream she was holding. "So, what were you doing yesterday?" Summer asked.

"I was with Marissa." He stopped for a breath before quickly continuing. "I ended . . . whatever we had together."

Summer stopped and squinted at Seth. "Are you serious? How did she - how did you take it?"

Seth shrugged and continued pushing the stroller along. "We both took it well," he lied.

"That's great!" Summer exclaimed as she jumped up and clung to Seth's arm.

Seth didn't respond.

* * *

Seth opened the door to his house with his golden key. He turned the key and pushed the door open. At that exact same time, a letter the both of them hadn't seen, dropped.

Summer, out of curiosity, picked up the letter.

"Give that to me." Seth snapped as he snatched the letter from Summer's hand just as she was about to open it.

_She didn't have any business reading **his** stuff that was at **his** door. _

Seth took Savannah in the house and Summer parked the stroller near the entrance, still embarrassed at Seth's reaction.

Seth walked over to the large dining table and examined the envelope. It was a standard white letter that was blank. It wasn't postmarked so it was obviously dropped off.

He gently ripped off the side and tapped it against the palm of his hand to let it rapidly fall against his flesh. He pulled out a pink piece of stationary and unfolded it.

"What is it?" Summer asked, coming up to where Seth was standing.

"Oh," Seth turned around. "Just a letter."

"What does it say?"

"I don't know." Seth turned his attention back to the pink paper that had roses on the top right corner. Realization hit him. "It's a note. A note from Marissa."

Summer's face scrunched up in confusion. She read the letter along with Seth.

_Summer, Seth: _

_You two left before, and so did Ryan. I guess it's my turn now. You guys don't know how hard it is for me to write this. Summer, you're my best friend. Always, remember BFFAE? We've been through everything it all from the start - but not to finish. _

_Seth,__ thanks for being there for me. Who knew I would find such comfort in the emo dork? LOL. _

_The love you have between you guys is so ovious, I don't want the baby and me to come in between the both of you. I hope you guys and Save have a great life together and pick up the pieces to become a beautiful family. _

_Love, _

_Marissa_

"Oh god!" Summer cried and broke down into tears. She hugged Seth tightly, the tears starting to stain through his shirt.

Seth didn't move. He didn't cry. Because he knew, yesterday he realized what Marissa wanted, what she needed.

Escape.

* * *


End file.
